+About Disagreeable Dinners
Our Vision
Disagreeable Dinners' vision is to get you - yes you, and about 1 million of your fellow Americans - to sit down during the 2024 election cycle to share a meal with people who you will absolutely, positively, totally and completely disagree with. No campaigning, no politicians, this is between us.
The saying goes that "pain is beauty". In our divided times we can't think of anything more painful - or more beautiful - than the outrageous act of sharing conversation with people who have the audacity to hold obviously incorrect opinions opposed to our own!
Someone else said "Democracy Dies in Darkness". Whether or not you trust the people who said that, Democracy certainly stops functioning properly when We The People lose our ability to trust, talk with and try to understand each other.
We tried the internet thing and let's be honest, it's not working. This can only happen face-to-face, and everyone's gotta eat, right? So you might as well do it with a few other disagree-able people.
Sign up now and we'll see you at Dinner.
When division is the norm,
connection becomes revolutionary.
Guest Lists
Disagreeable Dinners helps members attend curated dinner parties in their area with the right balance of perspectives to keep things appropriately disagreeable.
Resources
We provide a variety of resources to support productive conversations, including conversation guides, fact-checking tools, and training materials.
+Who We Are
We are The Disagreeables. We are your neighbors, your family, your friends. Maybe you're one of us too. We're no less than the silent majority of Americans with the revolutionary ability to politely disagree.
We're the ones who look to each side of politics and see mostly extremists who appear to have lost their minds. We shake our heads and throw up our hands at our apparent inability to agree on the truth of anything. We are the one's who are so fed up with the schizoid screeching of the fringes that we're ready to engage with alternatives.
We are the one's to stand up and finally say, "ENOUGH!" Enough with bickering, enough with the cynicism, enough with my-side-fits-all self-righteous absolutism. We aim to put a finger to the lips of the screamers and utter a firm collective "SHHHUSH!"
There, now, pass the potatoes and let's talk like adults.
+Frequently Asked Questions
How much does it cost to attend a dinner?
Disagreeable Dinners is a non-partisan, non-profit organization (tax-exempt status pending). Our dinners are designed to help our hosts create a unique experience which is 100% member funded and lead. The dinners come in several flavors, ranging from potlucks to catered menus. We strive for a diversity of backgrounds at each dinner and believe that cost should never be a barrier to being Disagreeable. A number of "Pay What You Can" seats are available at most of our dinners.
How Are Dinner Guests Matched?
Getting an invite to a Disagreeable Dinner starts with becoming a member. Each member fills out a simple form that gives us an idea of where they sit on the issues most important to them, in addition to basic information about who they are and their geographic range to attend a dinner. When we have enough profiles in a given area to allow for a balance of opposing opinions and a range of backgrounds we will contact selected guests with their dinner invitation.
Can I bring back-up?
If you'd like to add a +1 for your invitation please let us know in the invite request form and have your +1 fill out their own request mentioning you. While we cannot always guarantee that we can accommodate two guests, we will do our best to get you seated at the same table.
If you need any special assistance or someone to help you please also let us know when you request an invite!
What will we talk about?
Whatever we disagree on of course! Each Disagreeable Dinner has a theme or a line of questioning that the invited guests have indicated they have a position on or interest in. Guests won't know the exact topic or who their fellow guests are until shortly before they arrive. Topics focus on specific contentious issues like abortion rights, how to find truth in media, education reform, tax policy, violence in the middle east, gun control and other issues relevant to the 2024 US presidential campaign that members propose.
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How can I win the debate?
Disagreeable Dinners are not a debate, though they do follow a structured format with a moderator. Though opinions can shift, the goal is not to score points or to bring guests to your side of a topic. Think of it more as an open discussion on touchy subjects with some guardrails in place.
The goal is to dig into the crevices between us in search of the truths that we share. It's an opportunity to get a close-up look at the actual people on the opposite side of an issue rather than the fun-house-mirror version we might see online. You might even come to understand how someone could be so silly as to come to their conclusions... and they will have the opportunity to do the same with you.
If your goal is to own the libs or to moralize about your chosen cause, then this is probably not for you.
Who can request an invitation?
Pretty much anyone over 18 in the United States is welcome to request an invitation to a Disagreeable Dinner. We aim to get everyone who wants one matched up with a dinner in their area as soon as a spot opens up. There can be a wait so please be patient and we'll do our best to find you a seat at the table.
Are there any rules we're supposed to follow?
We're glad you asked! And yes we aim for Disagreeable Dinners to be as fun and eye opening as they are disagreeable! To keep things on an even keel our guests commit to a certain code of conduct. Check out the next section for the details of how we make Disagreeable Dinners fun, interesting and safe.
The Disagreeable Code
Our core goal is civil discourse. This is the point of Disagreeable Dinners, to create a respectful environment for discussion. Things can get heated, voices and pulses may rise, but we expect everyone to approach the table with a willingness to listen and attempt to understand the other side of an issue. To help ensure this happens we adhere to the Disagreeable Code.
1. No Devices -
Most of us have resolved once or twice to spend less time on our phones. Here's our chance! Phones are turned to airplane mode and left out of reach for the duration of the dinner.
2. No Trolling/No Outrage -
Trolling and outrage are best left in the digital world. Here in the real world we seek to understand our newfound frenemies with respect and courtesy.
3. No Personal Attacks -
We frame questions and comments from our own perspective, and avoid the accusatory "you". We focus on communicating our own thoughts and feelings rather than point blame.
4. Take the High Road -
If we find something offensive we extend the benefit of the doubt and assume no offence was intended. We speak in good faith and respect the table.
5. Active Listening -
We listen to better formulate a killer rebuttal, right? Wrong! We listen actively and ask probing questions to understand how someone could ever arrive at such crazy opinions.
6. Equal Speaking Opportunities -
Everyone gets a fair chance to speak and be heard by the entire group. Part of the moderators' job is to ensure that everyone gets equal time.
7. Speak to the Whole Group -
Secrets, secrets are no fun. We're here to speak with the whole table, so we avoid quietly commiserating with our neighbors.
8. Constructive Disagreeableness -
We're going for learning, so we pick apart ideas and not individuals. There's a whole list of rhetorical fallacies we try to avoid as well which we'll be sharing with members..
9. Have Fun! -
These may be very serious topics, but a little lightness can go a long way to making meaningful conversation. We try not to take ourselves too seriously.
10. Privacy and Confidentiality -
Unless express permission has been given we keep discussions confidential and respect member anonymity outside the dinner.
Of course, each guest's engagement is totally optional, anyone who feels offended or triggered in any way can take a break, grab a bite to eat or leave at any time. Of course we hope you'll stay.